Amelia Island Orthopedics

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When Is It Okay to Lie?

The doctor patient relationship is built on trust. The patient trusts that I am going to do a good job for him, trusts that I am well trained, and trusts that I basically know what I am doing. The doctor must trust as well in the patient. I need to be sure that you are going to take your medications as prescribed, that you are going to follow post surgical instructions, and that you are going to follow through with your prescribed physical therapy after surgery as well. Again, the relationship is founded on trust. So just when is it okay to lie?

Mr. H. came to see me about pain in his shoulder. He reported that this had been going on for several months, and that it was getting worse. He was having trouble raising his arm, and sleeping at night. Interestingly, it did not bother him with his golf or his tennis. He did recall an original injury some six or seven years ago, when he fell on his shoulder while rollerblading. A physical examination and MRI study was suggestive of injury to his rotator cuff, and surgery was discussed and recommended. Mr. H. was educated about the surgery, decided that he wanted to move forward, and he selected a date that he would like to have his procedure performed.

Then the lying began. Something came up that I couldn't tell him about, so I had to have my assistant call him, and tell him that we had to reschedule his surgery. He was not too happy about this, and pressed her for more details. Although she knew what was going on, she too fell into the trap of lying, and told him that she didn't know why he was being rescheduled and that she would get back in touch with him with a new date.

A week or so went by, and Mr. H. started to call and left messages wanting to know when we were going to put him back on the schedule. My assistant asked me what we should do at this point, and I was not ready to come clean about the truth, so I told her to just ignore his phone calls, and that it would all work itself out. But the calls didn't stop, and the voicemail messages became more and more tense. Mr. H. started questioning my practices as well as the way my staff and I chose to run our office. He requested that I personally call him back. But I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I was worried that I might cave under the pressure, and either dig myself into a deeper hole, or worse have him catch me in the lie. I just knew deep down that things would ultimately work themselves out and hoped that he would eventually understand where I was coming from.

I didn't hear from Mr. H. for quite a while after that. Had he discovered the truth? Was he understanding of my predicament? Then, just like that, one day he walked into my office. I don't think that he had an appointment, but he indicated that he did want to talk to me and my assistant.

The truth had come out, and the truth had set me free. You see, I had to cancel his surgery at his wife's request. Mr. H. had chosen a date just a few days before his 70th birthday. His wife had planned this huge party, and his three sons were coming into town as well to surprise him with a family golf trip to Ireland. Of course if he had the surgery when he had chosen, there would be no way for him to travel, let alone play golf. But this was to be a major surprise, so his wife needed me to lie, by suddenly canceling his surgery.

Once Mr. H. was able to piece it all together, he understood the situation that his wife had put me in, and why we had just ignored his calls. He thanked us for our help, and reported that he had had a wonderful time. Just this past week went through with his originally planned procedure and is doing well during his early postoperative period.

This column is written to discuss issues regarding sports, medicine, and safety. It is not intended to serve as a replacement for treatment by your regular doctor. It is only designed to offer guidelines on the prevention, recognition, and care of injuries and illness. Specific concerns should be discussed with your physician. Mail your questions to Gregory Smith, MD - Sportsmedicine, 1250 S. 18th Street, Suite 204, Fernandina Beach, Fl 32034. For appointment call, 904 261-8787 : www.gsmithmd.com

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